Redemption


So, I have not written in quite awhile, so long in fact I was questioning the reason, but I got my answer today.  Sometimes we write to vent and sometimes to send a message. My entire reason for this blog is to write with meaning, feeling, love, and understanding.  I hope that through these little blurbs of expression others can find help along their rode to their future.

Today marked a new beginning for me.  It was a wonderful day.  Why? you might ponder?  Because I got to reconnect with the person that gave me my voice in the first place.  You might think that’s an odd thought, but it’s entirely true.

You see some months back a friend of mine from college started a venture, an online magazine.  She invited her best gal pals to join her on this journey and it became successful, very successful, but sometime later there was an incident that spurred me leaving the group and we sort of disbanded.

I have felt horrible ever since, like a puzzle never finished, a riddle never solved, and an equation never answered.  While she does not believe that I was at fault, I have to disagree.  I should have asked what was going on in her own personal life to give this sort of response.  I should have known that a friend was in need.  Instead I closed myself off and reacted out of emotion!!! OMG CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?  That a person with autism acted illogically and out of an emotional response? yes, people that is what I try to explain with this blog is that we are still human beings and prone to the same weaknesses as every other being!  However, needless to say I am not typically like that.  I normally have a very clear, direct voice that puts some people off; however, eventhough it may be direct it is always with logic and reason.  This means that I typically listen to other people’s needs.

This was a very low point for me as a friend, and one that I regret greatly.  However, this has been rectified as of today.  You see grace works in all sorts of ways; ways that we don’t even see.  Through grace we are saved and by grace we are freed.  Grace also gives us the ability to learn from others and through their experiences.  It is a sort of sympathy that flows through all of us.  Love is not static as I have previously mentioned, it is as fluid as the ocean with it’s own intrinsic ebbing and flowing.  How greatly our love flows is dependent upon how we ride the ebbing.

I have to say that I have learned many valuable lessons from this experience, I hope you can understand why each one is so important.

#1: Facebook is a social media forum and should not be used to discuss deeply political and personal issues.

~While you may disagree with me on this ponder the old adage of “never talk about politics and religion in mixed company.”  Well, facebook is mixed company.  It is important for us to remember there may be reasons that we don’t know about as to why someone posted something in particular.  I have a friend who posts stuff just to mess with people and it’s not even her at all, simply because it’s so funny to see their reaction.  Therefore, just as in any other type of non-personal outlet including email, texting, and even blogging you may not see the real depths behind an individuals words.  

#2:  When someone says something extremely out of character it is typically not that person’s character.  

~My first reaction to what my friend said was simply that a reaction and not a logical conclusion.  I should have been a true friend and known that something was not right and reached out.

#3:  Taking a step back from the situation is probably the best answer to any problem.

~Although it has now been months since we’ve spoken, we’ve all needed this time to step back and let our feelings and emotions settle.  Now that it has we can relate to each other in a way that we could not at the time of the incident.  

#4:  People are more complex than their words.

~Sounds simple enough, but the truth is we need ALL of our senses to understand the person next to us and if that said person is thousands of miles away and your only connection is via streaming information well let’s just say that there is no use in trying to perceive what is going on.  It is always better to just ask!

So, with all of these lessons learned what do we do now?  WEEELLL, my friend issued an apology.  I accepted and issued one back.  She accepted and called me today.  It was the best 2 hour conversation I’ve ever had.  Amazingly, I can’t wait to start new projects with her.  I can see this going very far.  

I’ve had this feeling of change coming for awhile.  BIG CHANGE!  I believe that there are some people in your life that are there to force the change to happen and this is so with my friend that I have been allowed the great honor of reconnecting with.

You might be asking yourself why I chose to title this “redemption”?  

Because redemption is what we all need to be given in our lives at time.  Compassion is something that we give others, but redemption is something that we need to be given. I give my friend the redemption of grace and she has extended the same to me, what a beautiful endeavor….what a beautiful friendship…..what a beautiful gift!

~LenaJeanne

PS.  To live without reservations means to also understand those that have chosen to not like you.  There is one particular person that believes the worse in me.  The friend i spoke to today is a friend of hers.  I hope that one day she sees that I am not what she believes me to be!

 

Have a week filled without reservations!!!

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