So I’m Fat Just Not Fat Enough

OK, so my “Obesity and Disability” post had some people sending me messages telling me that I have no business talking about being overweight because “You (Me) aren’t big enough”.  So let me ask you how big do I need to be to discuss fat?  I mean fat itself is a molecule, being fat means an excessive amount of the molecule, but you can be skinny and be fat.

My ex once talked about this thin girl he dated who was like mush.  She had an extremely active metabolism but never worked out a day in her life, nor did she eat healthy.  This girl I’m sure will end up with multiple health issues.  

Now women like myself are seen as lazy.  Since we only have 30-50 lbs to lose we end up being told that we should just work harder and eat better.  However, those with 100-200 to lose are seen to have a “condition”.  My weight gain is obviously by choice while theirs is not…it’s genetic or something.  (Sarcasm)

Yes, absolutely genetics plays into I said I’m not a thin person and I’m only 5 lbs on me is like 25 lbs on a woman who is 6ft…..

Let me also say this…me losing the 30 lbs does not even begin to put me into the range of the “proper” BMI, but that does not affect me why? Because of muscle content.  I am not losing weight..I’m becoming healthy.  There is a difference.  The weight will be lost when my body is ready to shed the fat from my fat cells after I’ve accomplished a healthy lifestyle.  Anything else becomes dangerous.  Anything greater than a couple lbs a week becomes dangerous…working out for longer than an hour a day can become dangerous.  There are many reasons why…I can scientifically explain why losing large amounts of fat in a minute time frame is actually very dangerous (basically all the toxins released into the blood) but I will refrain from that unless specifically asked too..perhaps that is the next blog post! lol

In our society it has become bad social protocol to discuss something that you are not.  I am white, so i can not talk about the African American Community.  If you are not disabled then you can not talk about a disability.  Since I am not grotesquely obese then obviously I can not talk about fat.

But why? Why does ANY of that make sense….and please if you have an answer give it to me, because I honestly don’t know.  

But telling me I’m not fat enough is jut going to spur me giving more discussions on this subject which will likely piss more people off.

I am one of those people that you really like or really hate, there truly is not a middle ground with me.  I think it’s because my thoughts coming spewing out of my mouth at the speed of gravity…probably not the speed of light because I’ve already gotten distracted from what I was saying! lol

Anyhow, no matter who you are or how you look you should be able to discuss any issue you want to openly and honestly without condescending viewpoints attacking you; however, this is the interwebs age and we are definitely more about telling someone how they are wrong for their opinion more than how they are great at expressing it.

I have always felt like you have to OWN your feelings…FEELINGS are not a sin to have….how you ACT upon your feelings can leave consequences…each choice, each act, each moment has a consequence whether that consequence is good, bad, ugly, fearful, devastating, blissful, or just plain life wrecking.  Once you begin to own how you feel you can begin to fully account for your actions…all of them…and enjoy your life once more….It is important to remember that nobody and I do mean NOBODY can tell you how to feel…that’s between you, yourself, and you!  YOU get to decide your feelings, so own them and let them shine!  

Being confident in your own emotions and feelings will naturally pull others close to you and remember that if you are being 100% honest and someone backs away from you….you don’t need them anyway……

So signing off of here and leaving you with an adorable old pic of my kiddos, remember…you have only one life unless you are reincarnated, but if you know you are reincarnated then more power to you, but regardless..this life must be lived without restricting yourself through the reservations that others may put upon you..shed yourself of their controlling power and live the way you see fit!

Much Love!


Winter of 2006…wow…My son didn’t even have any language then!

Excuse the quality of the picture this was from a scan!


16 thoughts on “So I’m Fat Just Not Fat Enough

  1. Well said, you have the right attitude! I don’t know you nor do I even know what your size is or anything nor do I even care. I seriously just think people try to be nice but they end up doing more harm then good. Or maybe they just are haters and they feel worse about themselves when they see others do well. It’s like a lady I’ve been helping lose weight the last year. She’s lost over 60 lbs and is doing awesome, but she’s still 195 lbs. People tell her she needs to stop and she’s getting too small, seriously??? She’s 197 lbs!!!! It’s amazing what she’s done and I’m way proud of her, but she has plenty more work to do and she realizes it. Some people even try relentlessly to give her bad foods and tempt her, what’s wrong with people? Hater’s gonna hate I guess. Anyway just wanted to say good for you and stick to your guns!

    • Hi “Uberbeastmode” love the name…….

      Well size is relative right? I’m typically 140lbs but fits a size 4/6 which is pretty small for a girl in today’s era…but most women at 140lbs are around a size 10/12 when they are my height….if that makes sense…

      I’ve always been extremely active and while never thin I’ve loved keeping the very fit, highly muscled body….my ex is a pro bodybuilder and after his 10 years of it….it rubbed off! lol

      but I gained weight during my two years of my PhD..and now that I’m in my 3rd year and don’t have any classes I’ve started slowly building back up to where I was……….I’m a single mom of 2 kids with autism and from a completely different state than where I’m at now so I have no friends and no family.

      I have been extremely surprised by the ugly attitudes people have taken with me, because I’m not fat enough…and I need to stop complaining. I found it extremely odd. I honestly don’t understand….if someone could explain it to me it would be great! 🙂

      Thank you for the compliment and awesome with helping your friend out….I want to let go of the 30 lbs I’ve gained and really get physically where I use to be 2 years ago, but it took 2 years to gain’s going to take that to lose it..especially doing it the RIGHT way!

      Great talking to you!

      Are there any tips that you would like to give my readers? Or a blog that you write? if so please share!

      • Size is definitely relative! Everyone has different body compositions. Hey if you aren’t happy where you’re at then you work on it and talk about it all you want, nuts to what anyone else thinks. If you let every person who gets a nasty attitude about it bring you down you’ll have a very tough road ahead of you!

        You have the right attitude about how to get back after it and the road ahead. Love that you are into the muscle building portion of it, that’s usually very strongly overlooked. It’s good to know it will take time and important to know it’s that lifestyle change that’s important and not just getting to some goal or magical number. Besides, as so many people know too well if you just get to your goal and quit, you’ll end up right back where you started!

        I do have my blog at, it started as kind of an accountability thing for me and talking about my life but it’s sort of blossoming a bit into other things like motivation and I want to do more work with tips for others.

        I look forward to reading more from you!

      • Thanks! This blog started as a way to help autism families, but I get so many emails about other issues and it’s become more about my daily struggles.

        Yes, I’ve never understood why women have an aversion to lifting weights…..the next day burn is better than well you know….chocolate! 😉 haha

        Unfortunately I can’t start lifting weights until after October 16th..that’s my Oral exam for my PhD….once that is over..then I have no more more nothing except my research…so I’ll have more time, but I do want to do a huge few post block perhaps in january for all the Resolutioners about how to balance having disabled children and becoming healthy….Don’t forget me when the time comes..I love to work with other people…I love to have guest bloggers…..

        I also love no nonsense attitudes!

        Great to meet you! My name is LenaJeanne…and welcome to my blog family! lol

  2. LenaJeanne you have a wonderful sense of humor and speak good things! You give a new perspective to the matter of “obesity”

    • Ahhh thank you my dear friend are always so positive…this world needs more men like you!!! Can we stop the aging process somehow? lol

      I hate that term “obesity” we need to change it to a matter of health and it IS a public money dwindles cheap bad food becomes easier to get….

      but I’m hoping we can turn that around..and these anti-thin body diversity campaigns are not helping!

      • Our bodies DO change and age, but happily enough the mind does NOT have to change, and I believe this has some effect on our bodies. Just because I happen to be 84 does not mean I am “old”. I still enjoy dancing reggae, enjoy being with students at beer pong, shitfest, kegger parties, etc. and in my lifetime have had girl friends 30 years younger than I . . . So what? I am healthy and vigorous and enjoy walking and running. I used to do trail work and mountain climbing. I carry on a vigorous scientific research program. A lot of it is your mental attitude towards life. As I have written before, I was socially awkward as a child and afraid of people and took many years to analyze myself aspergerishly and figure out how to modify my behavior. It ain’t easy! Forward!

  3. Nice to meet you too! My name is Colin. I don’t know much about you (yet) but sounds like you have your hands full to say the least! If you love no nonsense attitudes, I think we’ll get along just fine. 🙂 Sometimes I worry I give a little bit too much tough love, but I try to balance. Right situations in the right times you know?

    Been than chocolate??? Are you sure that’s possible? LOL!

    • Awesome! lol I don’t like chocolate..I’m like the only girl who hates chocolate and cut flowers..I would rather get a new gadget….

      but anyhow..I’ve been asking all my fitness friends how they feel about these “anti-thin” “body-diversity” “love your curves” campaign…perhaps you could do some research and post your thoughts on it..that would be interesting to get a guys point of view!

      • Ha! I’m liking you more all the time! 🙂

        That’s actually a good idea, may have to turn that into a blog sometime soon. Quick thoughts on it. I’m not necessarily the typical guy to get this opinion from because I’m obsessed with health and fitness. I get where it’s coming from but don’t like that people are basically being told that it’s okay to be overweight and you should just accept it. You don’t have to be thin, in fact I hate the whole “I want to be skinny” thing. Skinny doesn’t = healthy. You should want to be fit or healthy, not skinny. I’m a much bigger fan of the “Strong is the new skinny” campaign. 🙂 As a guy I like a lot of different shapes and sizes of women, but don’t women think it’s okay to be obese. It’s not like I won’t like someone or will judge someone because they are overweight, that’s not what makes a person. But, especially if you are a friend of mine, I want you to be healthy. I want you to stick around and be my friend instead of getting some weight related illness that you could have prevented by living a healthy lifestyle.

        Okay sorry got a little off track. Bottom line I like the premise a little, you don’t have to be skinny to be beautiful, but I don’t like how it also could be perceived. I definitely don’t think people shouldn’t think they aren’t beautiful just because they have bigger thighs or something like that. I actually prefer my women with a little sometime to them.

        Okay I really need to get to bed! You know sleep directly effects results! LOL Good talking to you.

      • So on another note….I found on this biking blog this cream which keeps your muscles warm called “dz nuts” and i think I’m going to try it for running in the winter…i HATE the winter..i’m from the deep south and jogging here in the winter is horrible..hate it hate it hate it (and yeah it’s actually called dznuts)

        Yep that’s why I talked about my ex girlfriend where he said she may be pretty in clothes, but she was all mushy…he said it wasn’t him…other guys like that, but he really likes thicker fit girls…..and i love the ‘strong is the new skinny” I agree curves are beautiful…..but there is a difference between having curves and having 100 rolls…….there’s a difference in health and looks….You should love you without taking your body into account, but if you do love yourself fully then being healthy and strong will come naturally….

        I think I’m going to start taking melatonin for my lack of sleep and yes sleep directly effects everything….sigh….

        Hope you have a great weekend!

      • Thanks you have a great weekend too! Definitely a fan of the thicker fit women. 🙂

        Oh and LOLing at dznuts!

  4. Ya know, I talk to a lot of people about being fat and I get it from both sides. People who knew me from before can’t believe how small I am now. People who didn’t know me back then sometimes say they can’t believe I was ever that heavy. But then there’s the other group. I’ve been maintaining at my current weight about 5 years so the other day getting blood drawn I mentioned having lost a lot of weight and the phlebotomist said “that’s great, what’s your goal weight?” She clearly thought I have a ways to go. Apparently I’m at that middle ground where I can be either slim or fat, depending on your perspective.

    But I have had that experience you mention where people chastise me for talking about being fat. Then I show them the before picture I keep on my phone and they shut up.

    The one thing I would add to this discussion is that there’s a huge difference between telling people its OK to be fat and telling people they have the right to the same human dignity as everyone else. Having lived as a fat person I can tell you that the majority of people make instant judgments based on the obese person’s physical appearance, and the pre-judgements are that a fat person is lazy, greedy, weak willed or even evil. Many people then act on that belief in what amounts to verbal – or sometimes physical – bullying. An objective third party observer in such an exchange would learn a lot more about the character of the “healthy” person than the obese person.

    There’s even a school of thought that says if we are to judge people based on looks, its the less attractive people we should look to for examples of strong character. The theory goes that those who have been considered attractive their whole life have always been in demand socially. There are few consequences if they abuse a relationship because there are always replacements. In the extreme, when such people make relationship choices based on attractiveness matching there’s a tendency for these to be unstable. If you doubt this, go to the grocery store and pick any of the several tabloid newspapers in the rack and see who’s cheating, divorcing or remarrying this week.

    At the other end of the spectrum are those who have never been in demand based on their looks and have had to compete based on their personality and character. Given that society as a whole and the workplace in particular are known to discriminate against this population, whatever success they enjoy in their personal or professional life is due in part to possessing a strength of character that allows them to overcome the handicap of other people’s prejudices. Having been there, when I see a fat person who seems happy and fulfilled I confess I’m guilty of making judgements about them based on their appearance. I tend to think they are likely to be empathetic, compassionate, caring, generous, warm hearted and friendly.

    One of the things I read up on before losing my weight is Leptin. It is a hormone secreted by fat cells that suppresses appetite. Like diabetes, there are two types of illness related to Leptin. Those who do not make it naturally become obsessed with food. These are the kids you read about who are 185 lbs at 5 or 6 years old. Like Type 1 diabetes, the only treatment is to replace the hormone the body does not make. Once this is done, these people rapidly return to a normal weight.

    Then there’s another Leptin disorder in which the body makes the hormone but does not use it appropriately. This is similar to Type 2 diabetes where, despite there being plenty of Insulin in the bloodstream, the body is not metabolizing glucose. In the case of Leptin the patient’s appetite ranges from above average to insatiable every minute of the day, despite lots of Leptin in the blood stream. When mine was tested, it was an order of magnitude above the normal range.

    Now I’m not saying all obesity is Leptin disorder, or for that matter that it is always one of the many other medical disorders for which obesity is a side effect. And I’m not saying that a person’s character isn’t a factor. What I am proposing is that the notion that obesity is a character flaw which we can treat by ostracizing people, that the behaviors of prejudice, discrimination and hate towards fat people that we’ve been taught for generations – its time for these to go. We are better than that. The conclusion if we acted on this would be that obesity would be *socially* acceptable. It would still be hazardous to your health and we would not need to deny that, but it would be our health care providers and loved ones having that discussion with us, not random strangers.

    I’ll end with a story about my flight home earlier this week. A rather large woman took the seat next to me, apologizing for crowding me a bit as she got situated. I told her not to worry about it at all and showed here my before photo. I flipped up the arm rest between us to gave her some relief and we still had some room between us so she wasn’t self conscious. After we landed and we were about to disembark she told me that she normally hates the middle seat and had been dreading the flight. But the simple kindness I’d shown her had transformed her experience into something positive. She looked like she was about to cry when she hugged me and then we gathered our belongings and left the plane. I didn’t tell her it was OK to be fat. Through my actions I had told here it is OK to be her. Based on the emotional impact evident on her face, it’s probably not something she hears very often from strangers. And that saddens me.

    • I agree on all of the points that you have made. You are one of the sincerest people that I have been able to come to “know”.

      You are right also, I do not want to spread the message that being “fat”. I want to spread the message that being “you” is ok.

      However, it has also been studied that it is an insignificant amount of those with a leptin disorder that are obese. In fact less than 5% of all obese individuals is due to a disorder; however, once they become obese the secondary and tertiary disorders that are developed from that point on aides in the individual remaining obese. This is the cycle that is hard to break. Dieting, extreme exercising, and supplements do not change this. It takes hard work over a LONG period of time. This is the hard part we all want to lose weight fast. I definitely do but it’s not safe too!

      I find a lot of these “support curvy” ads is aimed at the extreme obese population, which is not healthy in the least.

      I am very conscious of my body when I fly…namely because I was paralyzed when I was a teenager. My back is constantly in pain and since I do not take any medication to control the pain I have to keep from awkward positions. I have flown with a very obese person sitting next to me. I honestly had to move and in order to not touch him (which in my opinion I should not be forced to touch a complete stranger) I had to cramp up. The pain was so unbearable I was tearing up..not to mention my sensory issues. I quietly asked to switch seats. Perhaps that was rude of me; however, perhaps it was rude of him to not take into account my own comfort by not buying two seats. I cannot tell you the correct answer. I have none. I wish I did.

      I just know for my own daughter and son I do not want to encourage them to live an obese lifestyle…….I want them to be able to climb the mountains in their sight….as I can.

      Being only 30lbs over my normal weight has caused me great physical stress…I truly feel for those that are much more than that!

      Thank you for visiting………I always appreciate your insight!

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